Financial Whiz Kid

I am irate right now. I'm writing so I don't put arsenic in the husband's stupid Dr. Thunder. (I don't really have arsenic. But sometimes I wish I did. Sorta.)

Two years ago we were in great financial shape. Our credit score was somewhere in the high 700's and our only debt were cars with low interest rates and our house. In a year's time, the husband made a string of terrible decisions that fucked us royally and ended with us filing bankruptcy. Welcome to the financial hell of Bipolar.

Now we own our own business. And the Financial Fucktard is back at it again.

I just got off the phone with him. And he's lucky the conversation wasn't it in person. Here's how it went down:


Husband: I just bought lettering for my truck. It was a great deal. Only a couple hundred dollars.

Wife: Dude, that's a lot.

H: It's great advertising. Oh and I also bought (insert stupid technical crap here). They were under a hundred dollars individually. A great deal.

W: Didn't you just tell me yesterday that the business is barely covering bills right now and that there is only a couple hundred dollars extra a month? I think we need to stick to the bare necessities for a while and build up a nest egg just in case.

H: These are the bare necessities. I need them.

W: You can't run the business without them?

H: No.

W: You've been buying a lot of things lately that are not necessities.

H: Like what? (Yelling)

W: Don't yell at me. I can't keep track of all these different stories you keep giving me. It's bullshit. Last week you said we were doing so well that you wanted me to stay home again and you'd pay me to do paperwork. Then last night you said we were barely making it. That's three different stories in just a few days. I don't want you buying anything until we really discuss what the real situation is.

H: Look, we're making a couple hundred extra a week. Not a month. Okay?

W: What's so wrong with building up a nest egg in case there's a bad month or two?

H: There won't be. If there is I'll just work harder.

W: So all the people who have been struggling with the recession just need to work harder?

H: They just made bad choices. I'll work harder.

W: You're not impervious.

H: I don't think I'm impervious.

W: Well you seem to think it can't happen to you. Why didn't you work harder when we had the cars repossessed? Or had foreclosure notices posted on the garage door? You just weren't working hard enough? Why is having a nest egg such a terrible request?

H: I'm sick of your bullshit. I'll talk to you when I come home.

W: I'm so disappointed in you.

*Click*




I hear they're doing great things with cardboard boxes nowadays.